Friday, March 20, 2015

Why I'm Not a Lifestyle Lolita Anymore

So I was just re-reading some old posts on my favorite lolita blogs when I realized something. I'm not really all that interested in the goings-on of the lolita community. I've never really been involved in the lolita community, I had some loli friends and went to a few meetups but I was the happiest when I was just living my regular life in frills. I was a lifestyle lolita for about 5 years of my life (2008-2013). If you've been keeping up with this blog you would know that I don't really live my life in frills anymore. I still own them of course, but recently my friends have been surprised to find the "doll wardrobe" I'm hiding in my closet.

I've been doing some reflecting as to why that is, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a lifestyle lolita anymore because lolita doesn't fit in to my lifestyle now. The thing about lifestyle lolita is that it's really hard. The style will get you a lot of judgement and possibly harassment in public. The last time I wore full lolita in public I had this interaction.
Me: *Minding my own damn business reading a book in a metro station.*
Gross Man: Princess, can I take a picture with you?
Me: No *continues reading book*
Gross Man: *stands way to close to me and takes a picture anyway*
As a lifestyle lolita I had to deal with this shit on a daily basis. Even when I'm not wearing lolita I get cat called and harassed by men on the street but it's even worse when you wear such an obvious attention grabbing fashion. It's easy to deal with this once every couple weeks if you're wearing lolita to a meet but it but to wear it every day is a struggle. I always said that I put up with it because the confidence lolita gave me, and my own love of the style was worth more than the confidence street harassment took away from me. It was worth it because lolita was a major part of my identity. Now that it's not really a part of my identity. I still love the fashion and it has a special place in my heart, for being the main reason I got into fashion, but it's just not really me anymore. There's a couple more (career related) reasons why I'm not a lifestyle lolita anymore, but that's the main one and I kind of felt the need to put it up here on my old lolita blog.